Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
