we're blogging at a bar
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
