My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
