Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
