It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry about my life...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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