Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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