4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
