And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
