Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
