it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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