Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
