You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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