I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
