At least make sure they are 18
Why
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
