I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They are going to name an STD after you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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