come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
