Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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