Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize