I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
