p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
