how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
