I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
