Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I party with great urgency now.
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