she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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