I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
