We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
