I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
