if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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