Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
