I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
