addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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