can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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