So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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