it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
