In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
