Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize