Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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