My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
