Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
