The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
