Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
