This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hippo gnu deer
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
