I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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