I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
