Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
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Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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