My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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