This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
