so explain again why im purple
no
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
