Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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