Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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