ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
