I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
