i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Mom said you looked used
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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