just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
