I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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