Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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