a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
